Playing with my Big Digger

Summer is a comin' in.

The lambs in the paddocks (in NZ - NOT fields or fells) are appearing at a rate only slightly slower than a fast breeder. It's fortunate that they are appearing in such numbers because Tom, our next-door neighbour farmer friend tells me "from obstetric ultrasound to weaning a farmer will lose about 20% of their lambs". We started with 2 lambs and now have 4. I might have to give him some hints. Mind you, our oldest female, Lamborghini did go through a 3-day period of being pretty lethargic. Her illness was indicated by a dooped head and while we once thought she lacked the satiation gene, she simply stopped eating her muesli for breakfast and even stopped drinking her milk halfway through. There is usually something wrong when someone is reluctant with chocolate. It was like that. But she's better and accompanied me to play with my big digger.

New Zealand having prided itself in having only 27 covid deaths and 4352 cases, seems as if a bit of complacency is creeping in, helped along by some Covid fatigue. The borders are closed unless you are an English netballer, dutch cricketer or a kiwi, in which case you have to do 2 weeks mandatory isolation. Those in Australia wanting to get back are thinking of sailing, if you have been at sea, symptomless, for 14 days you are good to go when you get here. If it were me I don't think I would be able to distinguish between covid and sea sickness and I'd be displaying symptoms before I'd left Sydney Harbour. The mandatory isolation is a problem. There are about 3000 rooms and 23000 applicants. Added to that Kiwis have been very slow at getting vaccinated, with some serious hindrance from the anti vaxxers, who seem to have information that none of us are privy to, who know that the virus hasn’t been identified, that 100s of Drs are against the vaccination (keep quiet about the millions who are in favour) and the solution is Vitamin D. But for some reason NZ Look at this:

86%

are fully vaccinated

That's 3,604,193 people

92%

are partially vaccinated

That's 3,888,804 people

I don’t why this is important, because according to the anti-vaxxers it's all scaremongering, you only need vitamin D and the virus has even been identified. I think I live on a parallel universe.

Anyway, with summer coming in we are starting our preparations with more water. A drought is likely. The present underground tank holding a massive bath of 22000 litres just doesn't seem quite enough. Recently we had a 25000-litre tank delivered. I suspect I still won’t be able to have a guilt free shower. The tank was delivered by Jason, a really nice friendly chatty guy. Why wasn't I surprised to discover that he used to work in Air New Zealand Business class long haul, but along with many others was made redundant. Now he delivers water tanks. A different type of long haul, a drive from Auckland to us.

His advice to me was that I should tie it down to prevent it getting blown away. I actually quite fancied seeing a water tank, ufo like, flying through the sky. But as you can see it got tied down with my old climbing rope and didn't disappear. What a journey that rope has had. Deer Bield Crack, Overhanging Bastion, Little Brown Jug, West Gully Lochnagar and holding a water tank down.

The sun is out, and the solar water pump is up and running, so we have a success. There are several bits that came with the panel and pump which I had no idea how they fit into the system. A blue tank, a pressure gauge and a pressure switch. All suggestions are welcome.

Dr Dig arrived, clambered up onto his Hitachi big digger, sat down, stayed there all day and got digging. I was his runner / apprentice. Within 15 minutes we had a deep plunge pool in the river for those baking hot naked summer days. Twenty minutes later there was a 2 metre deep hole into which went a concrete 'well-liner'. Dr Lockie Dig sat back in the cab, fag from his mouth and drove his digger with the accuracy, style and panache of a radiographer driving a Siemens fluoroscopy table.

Then there was the water tank. A flat pad was stroked out by Lockie with such gentleness and accuracy that he could pluck my eyebrows with his digger, if I wanted him to. The landing pad was covered in a face mask layer of sand and stone-less clay to prevent it getting punctured by an ill placed stone. The tank slowly levitated up the drive to be placed on the billiard table flat pad. The tank had gone to a new altitude, all of 21 metres higher than it was so it's chances of being blown back down have increased. One litre of water weighs 1 kg, so about 500 litres of water was pumped up and in.

Thanks to the sun, and the solar pump water now goes up hill. The sun came out and the tank started to fill. I checked the water coming out of the end of the pipe. It resembled a nice strong cup of tea. The newly dug spring hadn’t settled. Such a good idea!! Enjoy the shower when you come!

Anyway, it was all worthwhile because I got to drive the digger and dig a deep hole. Left lever, left and right is slew. Back and forth is arm extension and retraction and for fear of losing my job I’m not telling you what the right lever is for.

Wigan Athletic 'parking the digger', not the bus.

Recently Ali said that she wants to be buried on this plot, so it looks as if I am, for once, well prepared. Little did I know what I was doing!

An appropriate bottle of wine I bought.

The tank was delivered and taken up to its final resting place where Jason came and drilled holes in it. A huge hole in which he placed a tap which if we have the bad luck of a fire here the fire brigade can attach themselves to it. It was fun watching Jason threading a pipe from the inside to be able to attach the tap to. With Ben Watson pinpoint accuracy he hit the 25 mms hole from the top of the tank, through which he threaded the holding screw in place. Then the pump was attached, and water is filling the tank thanks to the sun. I was left some plumbing by Jason to do.; I have to plumb the garden tap in, plumb the new tank to the rainwater tank, in case the it stops raining and also plumb into the troughs for the spitting alpacas. If you don’t know what I’m on about, I didn’t know what I was doing, but It has all worked but the biggest miracle of the lot is that me, the apprentice rural plumber has managed to defy gravity and get 25000 litres of water up hill. The tank is full.

Lamborghini and Lambrusco have been joined by Lambretta. Lambretta is a different character altogether. The other 2 are quiet and pensive. Lambretta is hyperactive, possibly a result of genetic modification, has disproportionately long legs and so thinks he is Ostergren, the Swedish model with the longest legs and has attention deficit disorder. He’s great. The other 2 usually send him to us first for food as he has the most plaintive cry. Oh my life as a lamb. On his first night here he introduced himself, but you know how it is, breaking into a new group, the others bullied him and head butted him. I felt so sorry for him, it made me so sad that I nearly took him back. But they are friends now. The poor little’uns, abandonment is so awful, and they don’t know where their mum’s are.

They usually come over to the workshop shed to give me a hand and after that it is ‘brew time’ / smoko.

The sad news though is that we’ve had 3 random sheep ambling around for months. We have no idea whose they are or where they came from. Then a couple of days ago one of them disappeared, but then reappeared. We went down to the river to prepare for Dr Dig and there, sadly, was a dead lamb. Mum had gone to have her baby and then reappeared without it. I’m getting quite upset and am wondering if country living is really for me. From our 3rd floor flat window in Coventry I never did see a grey squirrel dead but I’m not sure I’d be very upset if I did. Give me a city. Country living is harsh and cruel. Those cute little lambies gambolling about have no idea that soon their tails will be burnt off and the males will see a new use for a rubber band. Oh the wailing that goes on when calves are separated from their Mums. It’s heart breaking and I remember it well every time I was shunted off to school.

Talking of Coventry. On Monday the camera man came. Naashon who makes films for the likes of Al Jazeera is making a doco about how people are reshaping their lives after / during covid. Expect feeding alpacas in full PPE, cycling to work with mountains in the background and not Willenhall estates, favourable comments about the good people we left behind like work colleagues, football, tennis and allotment friends. In fact, if you have read most of the chapters I’ve written over the past 8 months, expect similar stuff. The doco is being made for Stuff, a NZ news channel. Maybe similar to CNN, BBC, Al Jazeera, ‘Phil The Camera’ also filmed for Mark Thomas when he walked around the Israeli separation wall. Someone once said I looked like Tom Cruise. I told Geoffrey he could pretend to be Bill Niahy except he doesn't have a dupuytren's contracture, and Carol, Julie Walters. Helen Mirren was played by Ali. Speilberg is planning on coming back at some stage. Actually, they may get some good film. Ali’s Mum has decided to have a hip replacement, so Ali must go back to be with her. It is obvious she has to go, but it is difficult. The greatest difficulty is getting a place in MIQ. The last time it was open for booking 3000 rooms, there were 23000 applicants. It does seem odd that double vaccinated people are still having to be isolated for 2 weeks; one wonders what the point of the vaccination is.

We had the alpacas have their haircut today, from going from looking like obese Rastafarian giraffes to looking like Victoria Beckham. Malnourished. I was up at 05.45, barking and taking on the persona of a coyote, hearding them into the corner of the paddock and being spat at in return for my efforts. Full PPE was on again; oh the memories rekindled through an animal of going to ITU .

This is what I put on the NZ alpaca face book page (yes, they have their own social media page).:

If anyone is worried about the poor teamwork of either the All Blacks or Black caps or ferns, then I suggest Nigel and Cass the alpaca shearers join their coaching team. Nigel and Cass said they'd be with us at 07.00. With greater accuracy than an Omega watch and the precision timing of Italian trains they were 2 minutes early. By 7.22 2 alpacas had had their No 2 skin'ead cuts and were spitting with the ferocity of a skin'ead in the '60s.

Nigel and Cassie are a lesson in effective and efficient teamwork, only to be beaten by Wigan Athletic in the FA Cup final of 2013 fame. (MoM ALI).

My only concern now is that we will be had up by the Alpaca Cruelty Protection group. We have 2 alpacas that look like Victoria Beckham. Malnourished but without breast enhancements. I highly recommend this slick team and added to it all they are super friendly and fun. (Cass has broken her leg - once years ago).

What's not to like.

Anyway, I digress and in amongst all this I sweep the floor, get the mop put, sparkle the windows, walk 10kms cutting the grass / lawn, saw wood for the fire, cook supper and I may sit down to relax. Gotta go. It’s tough for the boys!!

It is good to have extra help when the car needs a push or a polish

You may know that we have about 2000 pine trees. Well, 1998 now. I advertised on FB to see if anyone wanted fire wood. The arrangement is that they chop down what they want and fill our wood shed in return.