2023 wasn't bad at all.

2023 WASN'T AT ALL BAD. (it's a bit of a picture story; 2500 words, that's all).

Hello Folks, as much as I would like to, I can't write to all my good friends, so I hope you can take this as an adequate substitute. It is a bit of an account of what we have been up to over the last short while. Of course, I do hope you are all well, warm, fit, healthy and happy.

It started with a shock. Shocks. Shocks can be shocking things. Some shocks are more shocking that others. I'm not going to tell you much because I don't want to. Let's just say that because I'm an old cronky codger that got up for a wee one-night Ali said I should have a blood test for PSA. Of course, obediently I did. That was fine, but there was an incidental finding, effing 'ell.

Like a few other shocks I've had it tested my resolve and ability to cope. I'm coping fine now I'm used to it. Other than that, nothing is different - I still walk 10kms back and forth in the garden to cut the grass, occasionally run and cycle and knock a tennis ball about, so it’s not all bad. I looked for 'support' and help on Facebook and came across a rubbish USA site. It advised me to eat carrots under a full moon and people prayed for me. When I told them it had done nothing useful and I wanted help from more than a fairy story character, I got banned! Clearly god objected.

We bought a new tea pot, made good cheddar and camembert, getting fresh milk from a local dairy farm. We have a good system, we get milk, and he gets anything from caramel chocolate biscuits, beer, limes, or wine.

We became a waiter and waitress for the day as we served food at a local winery to wealthy white people who steadily got more pissed as the day went on. When one is sober, the drunker people get, the higher the volume of their intended conversation and supposed hilarity and the more tedious it all gets. We got paid in wine to one day get pissed.

My only other attempt at serving booze was when I once worked behind a bar in about 1978. I am appallingly bad at maths and because it was a 'casual' bar there was no 'til that gave me the answers, so I simply charged 50 pence for everything. I was never asked to do bar duty again. I consider this to be one of by better successes.

My friend Trevor, who makes exceptionally good cider asked for assistance in pressing and bottling his brew. Our most potent brew of cider was some Asturian stuff bought whilst we were walking in the Picos de Europa. The next day was an enforced rest day!!

My friend Jacob asked for assistance in moving bags of ground Italian bricks from the pallet to the place to make 2 new fantastic, top quality clay courts, with a couple of tons of clay imported from Italy. The aim is to develop a NZ 'elite' tennis academy. Ali and I have played there twice!

February is birthday time so what better place to go to party hard and dance the night away than Sydney, with Ali's wonderful Aunt. My 21st was sailing a wayfarer on Windermere in the snow. My 60th was watching a 0-0 draw between Wigan and Oldham. My 50th has been conveniently forgotten and my 40^th was with my Dad in Motueka when he came to NZ to visit us.

My Lambrusco birthday cake. My tennis balls birthday cake for the tennis group.

We've had a fantastic season of limes, having picked about 150kgs. Yes, I kid you not. I swap them for coffee, cinema tickets and meals at local cafes. But they've come to an end.

Every now and again we look back on how totally different our lifestyle is. It is now one that neither of us knew anything about and our only preparation was a bit of interest and enthusiasm. The addition of a 25000-litre water tank filled with water pumped up by a solar powered pump from a spring about 60 metres away was particularly satisfying. The plumbing all worked, without a leak until a cow kicked the water trough. The water watered the field, the tank emptied and 2 days later it was full again. The last time I entered a completely new lifestyle with only interest and enthusiasm was when I gave up bumming around picking up random jobs to going to St Martins college to become a radiographer. That was also incredibly rewarding, singularly helped by Ali. I was singularly unsuccessful at school, so to go back to learning was a revelation to me. At the age of 30, for the first time I realised learning could be stimulating and fun.

The tank going into place. I drove the big digger.

As summer comes to an end we take off the nets from the vines which we put on earlier. I get paid a bottle and hour, so it all seems worthwhile. Ali drives the tractor whilst the boys get the nets off. It's tough for the boys. We picked a ton of olives and now have oil to last until next April. Harvesting was fun. We invited a family of ex-refugees from Kyrgyzstan and by all accounts they enjoyed the trip out. We enjoyed their visit; in true Eastern European style they came loaded with very delicious food, not forgetting the baclava. Garden harvesting continued with a not too bad crop of sweet potato or as it is known here, kumara. The last time I harvested olives was at Dubrovnik airport car park. The trees were loaded, and we had an hour or so to wait, having arrived early after I had a good idea. We got a ferry from Dubrovnik across the bay and walked from there to the airport, in our town clothes and a roll along suitcase. Neither the suitcase nor Ali's shoes were ideally suited to the coastal path, and then a yelp was let out as a snake slithered in front of us. Anyway, we navigated by following landing airplanes and got there! What better thing to do than pick olives, so we did. Security were a bit bemused but a few months later we had good brined olives, just as we have now.

Raising the wires for the new season.

I was in my element. The greatest memories of fantastic days and Wigan came flooding back. The Women's World Cup came to NZ and Australia. I went to 6 games in Wellington as well as the final in Sydney. All the Wigan paraphernalia came out. The stripey trousers, the vuvuzela, the Wigan scarf and the rest. Crusty came to games. For each game I made a reversible flag, for each team, so the 'fickle fan' was never disappointed. This time my team always won which made my allegiance a bit difficult in the final. Reece James's sister (Reece used to play for Wigan) should have been suspended for longer and the English goalie was well off her line to save the penalty. The injustices were the same as at Wigan. Ahh the memories! But Wigan did win the FA Cup and thankfully I never got a kiss for it. Ahhh the memories!!

Off to the final.

The Final.

We are in a land of the Long White Cloud as well as every extreme in weather. We've had the rain and in September we had the wind. A Mighty Wind: and that reminds me of a very good film. Well, hec, the wind blew. With a wind like that Ellen McArthur would have got around the world even quicker. What happened instead was that a bloomin great branch, like half the tree, got blown off. Luckily it missed the chicken house and the chickens. Luckily everything else stayed where it was meant to. I was thankful I wasn't in a tent high up in the Picos De Europa not far from Naranjo de Bulnes when our tent nearly got shredded and we weren't far off being blown to Mirador De Ordiales 20kms away.

Everything else stayed where it was meant to except a spider which bit Ali on her leg. It got seriously infected and looked like Kilimanjaro as it thinks about erupting. I feared an above knee amputation, but luckily that was avoided. It took about 7 weeks to come good and one fainting episode by the resident nurse whilst he was squeezing out magma and making a dressing look very professional to impress the nurses at the medical centre. The most significant thing about this episode was that Ali took anti-biotics. An amazing thing when early on in our blissful relationship I learnt that 6 years at medical school teaches you to say "Panadol, rest and fluids; time is our best diagnostic tool"!!

Some planting happened earlier on of vegetables and the outcome was looking like some prizes could have been won if they'd been entered into a competition. After I visited my Dad's burial site at the Dalton woodland burial site in Burton in Kendal I stayed at a nice pub called the 'Kings Arms'. At the bottom of the car park were the allotments and one of the allotmenteers grew vegetables specifically for showing. Leeks grown in drainpipes, onions the size of footballs, marrows needing a forklift to move them and beans a mile long. Well, I'm telling you, my cauliflowers made his look like the work of an amateur, I never did get to taste them, but the chickens really liked them. Really really liked them, and I didn't like the chickens.

Pretty happy; got there before the effing chickens.

But never mind, 'Operation Net Curtain' (code name Annette - see what I did there)? was immediately implemented. Carrots, cabbages, tomatoes, and loads more are all zooming into a productive state ready for me and not the chickens. The ducks didn't succumb to carpet laying of nets, so they have been sent to a covered run by the red sheds. It had to be covered after they jumped the separation wall. Like the rest of us the new little duckettes were trying to learn the tricks of life off their elders. Bloody things!!

Happy with the garlic.

I suppose we steal their eggs of which we have taken about 250 since October to present day - as well as about 50 duck eggs.

What's more the ducks have stopped laying eggs, but the 8 chickens are prolific in almost industrial scale egg laying. About 8 a day...

November - an anniversary (the predictable moan -last one, promise).

5 years ago my dad died at a healthy age of 96. Sad. Yes; but it happens to the best and worst of us. He died peacefully and comfortably at home, in his own bed under his cosy duvet with my brothers and sister at his bedside. Up to his death he was mobile and maintaining his dignity. Nothing could be better in death.

10 days after he died my brothers and sister sat me down and told me what a bad person I was. It all started with the statement from my brother "I make no apology for what I am going to say". What followed was 40 minutes of unkindness without a positive word about my personality and character, and more recently culminating in suggesting I am untrustworthy, spread misinformation and by implication, dishonest. All totally unsubstantiated. Even as I sat in tears, it continued. Possibly one of my all-time top 5 bad experiences. Thanks siblings, I learnt a lot that day. The timing was immaculate.

It was pretty bloody amazing and remarkable and awful. Made worse when I was told to "just fuck off". So I did, and left them to it.

I actually thought we were going to discuss post death issues like memorial and sorting the estate!!

Despite asking what I had done to generate such animosity, no one could or is prepared to tell me so I can do nothing to make amends. "I'm not prepared to talk about it, but I hope we can continue as before".

To give them credit, I did get an email saying "we think we could have handled sorting the estate out, a bit better" but it didn't say what they may have done or why they chose to take the route they did. Suffice to say that it all resulted in the last will and testament of my parents not being fulfilled in the way that was requested.

It is sad. As you know, we don't have children. I now have no contact with the younger generations of the family. I've lost my family. But heh-ho, I suppose if friends or colleagues behaved in such a way - the outcome would be the same.

Such a happy family, once.

Anniversaries are interesting events!!!

To my good friends, if you have ever perceived any of that in me, I am deeply deeply sorry. Please do all you can to avoid such things happening to you.

A nice walk up in the hills with friends.

But we move on and now learn from the past, enjoy the present, hope for the future, make the most of all that we can and live life to the fullest.

What's weird about NZ .......... the new government who is not going to increase the tax on cigarettes, but will use revenue to fund tax cuts!! The much heralded 'Smoke Free NZ' is being got rid of for fear of more ram raids on shops and a black market. Vaping will be promoted!!! The health minister is a GP! Oh well. The UK is thinking about introducing a smoke free policy. A few of the present government and relatives work for the lobby groups or the cigarette industry. Funny that.

We are tootling along just fine. It's funny the effect of years has. In my youth I would have said that I was 'trundling' along, but now I just about tootle or pootle.

Glamorous Gumboots.

An impressive harvest! Christmas dinner; all either home grown or home produced.

happy with the peaches so far. Coffee Roasting

The dreadful genocide in Gaza and the rest of the awful acts in the West Bank have really upset me. But what can I do down here? We went on a big march in Sydney, a smaller march in Wellington. Nothing was happening in Martinborough so Ali and I set up a table in the square. We collected for MSF and Medical Aid for Palestine. We got thumbs up and hoots on the car horns from passers by.

In Sydney In Wellington

Outside the USA embassy Our effort in Martinborough.

The biggest worry so far, apart from imminent world war, which saw us on 2 Pro-Palestine marches, one in Sydney and one in Wellington, of 2024 is that MadBlackJack, our lovely reprobate hoon of a friendly fun pet sheep stood on a rusting fencing staple. It blinkin well hurt me to think about it, so it must have been mighty sore for Jack. He limped, hobbled and couldn't weight bare. Slowly he deteriorated until he was hardly moving. Believe me; a sheep can look sad, ill and fed up and Jack looked just that. Poor thing. A phone consultation with the Vet and we soon had 3 pre-filled syringes. One of pain relief and 2 of antibiotic. Five days after the initial injury he is finally coming good. Poor thing. I surprised myself as to how worried I got even thinking that some assisted dying maybe required. Funny really when NZ is the most heavily sheep populated country per square hectare. But Jack the maverick story continues. He got into a phase of randomly head-butting people and believe me a sheep's head is very hard. Ali went to the letter box and eventually came back. Once it started to get dark, I was getting concerned. She was so fraught and upset. Jack had relentlessly gone for her. She was sore, bruised and wisely took her ring off as her finger swelled. I lay in bed trying to be rational and decide who I'd prefer to spend more time with: Jack or Ali? It was a sleepless night as I pondered. Eventually we decided he had to go. Suggestions were made about a 12 bore but I was having none of that. He was such a likeable rogue. I advertised on a local FB page and shortly after that a lovely kind person took him away to new pastures with new lovely friends. That is the story I'm believing. I was sad when he went as he stood there saying "why, what have I done, where am I going? He looked so sad, just as I was. It reminded me of going to school.

Me and my mate. Lambrusco and Jack supporting the cause. Good lads.

About to drive off.

Lamborghini – for some reason best known to himself – decided that the water is better on the other side of the fence despite having plenty of easy access on his side. Once he put his head through, his Neanderthal eyebrows meant he couldn’t get out. He was truly stuck. I heard him calling and thought he was just saying hello till I went a bit closer (his friends had left him to it). It was impossible to get him out so I had to come along with the saw (the screws were too tight to unscrew) and cut one end so we could pull it down a cm or two – then he managed to run off – with not even a thank you! Then he did it again at the gate!!

It's all fun. I wonder why it is that animals bring so much pleasure and peace to us. Aren't we lucky?

We've had 2 sets of great visitors. Lovely people from Coventry. It was really super to see them, and it is interesting to see our place through other people’s eyes who seem to marvel at what we've got. And so do I. Our very wonderful neighbours (1.5 kms away) have a river on their farm. About a 20-minute walk from here it goes underground and therein are the best glow worms in the whole wide world, so bright in fact that we didn't need torches to get out. Brighter than the starry skies and the Starlink necklace. Easy guests are so wonderful.

You've got to do it, haven't you? Some one posted a video of 3 friendly lambs which needed a new postcode. There was no good reason not to get them. It is a seriously big dose of cute overload. They are so friendly and constantly begging for sheep cocaine, following us wherever, ever hopeful of another fix.

Ali and her 3 new best friends. The feelings are clearly mutual.

I've never been good with death. When Lambretta, our first pet lamb died, I cried. When various ducks died at different times I've been fed up, but today 'Whitey' a 3-month-old Indian Running Duckling died. I seemed disproportionately upset. And now Yellow Beak has died. I hate living here. It is a place of carnage. Give me Coventry.